Friday, February 26, 2010

Knowing God

Do I know God? I ask myself the question and it's a silly question. Between me, myself and my intimate allies, it’s a silly question. But I consider the answer I would give someone else and I find myself searching for words to describe a mystical experience.
Q. "How do I know I know Him?'
A. "Because he lives in me"
(A good, true answer in my ears, and true in my heart, yet somehow lacking to someone else's ears I suspect.)
A. "Because He caused and causes transformation in my mind, heart and life"
(Again true for me, yet it could be written off to any revelation based therapeutic behavioral management model)
A. "Because, after asking to be changed, healed, freed, and to have a life from Him, it occurred."
(I feel like I'm getting somewhere now, but still missing something somewhere, not airtight somehow)
A. "Because I hear His voice clearly. He initiates conversations and responds to my dialogue. He teases me, likes me, cries with me, and laughs with me. He likes it when I tease Him, and creates in me an ability and desire to love that was not evident or part of my nature before I met Him. He compels me to enter into situations contrary to my nature of self preservation. He leads me to freedom from what I am captive of. He heals me of my emotional and psychological wounds by accepting my invitation to come in and show me what ails me so I can ask for healing and freedom. Most importantly, I love Him and living without him would be more heartbreaking than I can imagine, it would be like death, or the lack of life. In all this, He loves me completely and in the midst of every flaw, shortcoming, screw up, or rejecting of Him on my part, I am never ashamed of myself when I'm with Him.
I know I know him because His nature and existence is contrary to the way of the world."
(that feels better)

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