Tuesday, March 16, 2010

A New Lamp

A 'New Lamp'

I have been released of His compelling to proclaim Entire Sanctification’s (ES) availability as his ‘primary’ purpose as I minister.

Profound is; the settling in of the premise that Jesus is the only one who can open a heart, and He will lead those He calls to this (or any) transaction when He concludes it is time, or needed. I’m exploring the truth that a person can be a ‘holiness follower’ regardless of any spoken prayer. A genuine invitation to Him happens in the heart. Words are secondary, an expression of our desire. “If a person were on an island, without a person to hear and spoke to God in their thoughts…..”

While ES is still for me the most significant moment in my life, I now rest that while it is available for all, in my life, it was for me, to enable me to be a vessel through which He can love those He brings into my garden. Through the crisis I experienced, He surrounded me with men who helped me discover; what was wrong, what to pray for, and how to live it. I believe; He will lead those He wants to hear my testimony to me, or I will find myself in their midst. But my testimony is diverse. My passion to see people engage Him in simple intimacy has become preeminent and grown beyond ES. I cannot ignore my (our) testimony, but we have so much to illuminate from our arsenal. He is so much bigger that any one transaction.
While the ‘narrow beam lamp’ of E.S. has been taken from my hand and replaced with a lamp shining a ‘new’ light, I am certain that a part of the spectrum cast by it will include ES. Beyond that I am not sure what will be illuminated. I suspect it includes my ability to empathize, but it’s only been a day or so, and I’m not very far down the path, and my eyes have not adjusted fully. I know I want to meet people where they are and encourage them to stop, look into His eyes, and embrace that freedom to look into His face without shame. He will do the rest, and tell me to proclaim ES if, or when it’s time.

I release this and die with some sadness, but I rest that these past six years of steeping is without shame, for I have been faithful to walk in the light He provided for my feet. The future is an adventure yet to be revealed and as I walk into it with Him I am so thankful I have Him to lead into the freedom, healing and life to the full He said He came to bring.

It is no longer I who live

"We're supposed to be dead!"

-Jesus via a man at Gideon

Monday, March 15, 2010

What to do

"Just breath,
keep walking,
and make sure He is on the throne".

-Jesus through Jurgen Von Treskow

Friday, March 12, 2010

Camp Gideon 2010

Gideon 2010

I’ve been there in the snow.
I’ve been there in the rain.
I’ve been there in the sunshine.

I’ve been there hurting.
I’ve been there hungry.
I’ve been there in peace and in between.

Every single time Jesus has been there with me.

He’s like that.

Friday, March 5, 2010

I have a friend

I have a friend.

I’m a lucky guy. I know a man who loves me. He allows me to tell my story; the story of the moment. I sometimes have difficult moments and when I do, I can cry, yell, cuss, whine or speak to him, and he allows it. This man is trust worthy; I do not have to pose for him. When the very foundation of my hope is rocked and I question my ability to continue, he remains. I have allowed this man to know me completely and this man still loves me.
This man is a gift from Jesus. You see some time ago when my world was falling apart I was in need of a friend; I knew it instinctually. I took a chance, although at the time I was so broken it was not really much of a chance at all, but rather simple, literal survival. Jesus gave me this man. I saw this man and the opportunity with the eyes of my heart, I just knew. I didn’t have time for putting on a face of content, or maturity. I was in need and I allowed it.
Life is really screwy. Honestly, sometimes don’t you just want to get through the day? Sometimes isn’t that all your capable of? Do you have moments where everything seems like a bloody war? I do.
I’m a passionate, abstract, emotionally charged man. Jesus loves that about me. When I’m breathing He gets to experience life as only He and I can. I have an immense capacity to love (and hate). I’m volatile. Sometimes when I’m getting crushed, I get overwhelmed. In those times I have a friend.
The world teaches us that when men reach a certain age (be it a number or perceived maturity), we’re not supposed to get crushed anymore. That’s crap. Life is difficult. Couple that with Jesus wanting to heal and free us of our chains, and diving into these feelings being the only way to do it, and you have a potential real mess (at least for me). I can’t do it alone. Isolation breeds dysfunction. I used to wonder why talking to Jesus wasn’t enough. I don’t have time for that question anymore. You see; I have a friend and all I know is that when I come to this man and express; my situation, frustration, brokenness, fear, anger, or rage I find healing and freedom at best and strength to continue at least. I hate how the world teaches that men should not need help. I wish every man had a friend like I have.

I have a friend that was given to me by Jesus. I’m a lucky guy. It’s a miracle. I had to risk; rejection, judgmental dismissal and betrayal but this man has proved trustworthy. I trust him with my life.

I just wanted to thank him.

Dear Friend,
I love you, thank you, well done.

Monday, March 1, 2010

My God Jesus

I have spoken quite a bit recently about my friend Jesus. I would like to take a moment and talk about my God Jesus.
As life happens, there are moments where I am compelled to engage Jesus in a fashion that does not resemble two friends just hanging out. There are times when it appears that my abilities fall short of my need in my circumstance. It is during these times I speak the name of Jesus. Some days I speak His name frequently. This ‘saying of His name’ I come to realize is me affirming myself of who I am, what He has done, and what He is capable of. It is reminder that He is God and I am His.
I have left behind the need to practice this by routine, (although to be honest it appears routine), rather, I practice this as a result of His Spirit’s lead. As much as I now know I have everything I need to respond to whatever life presents me, I still find myself capable of struggle. During these times of difficulty, I believe Jesus Himself, through His heart and Spirit that live within me, compel me to come to Him with my need or desire. I believe this glorifies Him and He is appreciative.
I have times of depression and anxiety and these times can ignite a response of fear, anger or isolation, which break relationship either; Him or the people in my life. It is here that I find the need within me that can be only be met by God. Sometimes this engagement of God can be rather casual, a simple utterance of His name. Always this engagement is humbling.
It is a reverent, beautiful, and awe inspiring place to be in the presence of a most powerful God; A God who is true, good, capable, and willing to rise and respond to the need of His beloved.

As I walk in the garden
And the ‘other one’ speaks my name,
I recognize a choice I have;
I call Him, and then remain.

I have what He gave me,
This is all that I need,
But the turning, and silence;
Is downfall’s bad seed.

This seed of independence,
This seed of no need,
This seed of forgetting,
I don’t want it to succeed.

If I ask He will rise up
And stand beside me
Put His hand on my shoulder
‘We’ are all that I need.